The Blessing of Alzheimer's Disease

Back in June, I featured my grandmother, Byrdeen, in another blog post titled "My Elijah".  She was an anchor of faith in my life, and was my "go-to" spiritual counselor throughout my childhood and early adulthood.  Byrdeen had such a close relationship with the Lord, that I can't recall too many conversations when He didn't come up.  She was "activated" in her faith, and was really on fire for God. 

Grandma also loved her children and grandchildren very much, and I can recall her always asking us, "You know how much we love you, right?"  Unfortunately, I also remember rolling my eyes at how often she would ask us this question, and in my immaturity as a teenager I would grudgingly respond, "Yes, Grandma, I know..."

But in her last several years, Byrdeen was overtaken with Alzheimer's disease, a terrible disease that gradually degrades a person's memory and identity, and is a trying experience for the person, his or her spouse, and family members.  For me, it started with noticing that Grandma was forgetting things frequently, and I found myself repeating things I had told her.  We took her in for testing, and the doctors confirmed she had Alzheimer's.  My grandfather suffered terribly from watching her slowly fade from an amazing spouse and life partner for many decades, to someone that needed constant care and attention.  Over the years, she went from forgetting things to not even knowing who you were when you walked in the door.  It's such a sad and shocking thing to have someone that close to you not know who you are, and you know that any interaction you have with her that day will be forgotten the minute you walk out the door.

My grandfather died unexpectedly in 2000, so the burden was then put on my parents to take care of Grandma.  The money my grandparents had saved eventually ran out, so the financial burden was placed on my parents to help pay for her care, which only added more insult to the emotional injury of watching your mother slowly slip away. 

In her final few years, we were fortunate to discover that the Department of Veteran's Affairs had a benefit that helped pay for her care since my grandfather was a military veteran (she was featured on NBC News here).  This allowed us to move Grandma into a senior care facility.  She had been cared for previously by a family friend, and hadn't gotten much exposure to other people and a more active life. 

Grandma immediately took to the new facility, and she was able to enjoy a constant flurry of activity with church services, games, and frequent interaction with others.  Even though she still suffered from Alzheimer's, she was able to make friends and interacted well with the staff.

Then an amazing thing happened.  My grandmother died one day of heart failure.  When we attended her funeral, many of the facility's staff were on hand for the service.  After some members of the family spoke, several of the staff members got up to speak, one by one, sobbing as they talked about what a big impact Byrdeen had made on the people and staff at the senior living facility.  Even though she had lost many of her mental faculties, Grandma had never lost her faith in God, and was able to sing along to all the church hymns being sung at the services they held.  She would compliment everyone she saw on how beautiful they looked, and how happy she was to see them. 

One lady in particular, who would not have been seen as attractive by worldly standards, told us that Grandma would always tell her how beautiful she was when she saw her, and it was the first time in her entire life that someone had said she was beautiful.  It brightened not only her day, but also changed her life. 

I sat in the service, amazed that people who see death every day in that facility, and probably become somewhat numb to the many people who come and go from that place, were so grieved by the loss of my grandmother. It was obvious that she had made an important impact on the lives of the people there.  And lives were changed because of her being placed in that facility. 

So what's the take away from this story? God has promised us that He will turn ashes into beauty (Isaiah 61:3).  It doesn't mean that He allows or makes bad things happen to manipulate events into His desires - that lie makes many people skeptical of God and His goodness.  What it means is that God takes the bad things that happen in this fallen world and turns them into good, according to His will and perfect timing. 

My family had a hard time understanding why someone who was so faithful to God for her entire life had to suffer through her final years with Alzheimer's, and cause the suffering of my grandfather and other family members. But I'm convinced that, knowing my grandmother, she would choose to have the same experience again knowing the impact she was able to make at that senior care facility in her final years.  And someday, when we are able to see the tapestry of our lives in heaven, we will all say "Amen" when we see how all of life's events, good and bad, were able to be turned into beauty by the amazing Creator of the universe. 

I hope this word encourages you today, and if you or someone you know has Alzheimer's, my prayers are with you that God will turn your ashes of this experience into beauty.

"To all who mourn in Israel, He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.  In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory." - Isaiah 61:3

-Adam Gellert
adamgellert.com

The Wrong Foul Ball - Focusing on the Next Opportunity

Catching a foul or home run ball in a professional baseball game is one of those rare gifts that is truly a special occasion for baseball fans.  I had personally never done it until just this summer, and the circumstances surrounding it allowed me to reflect on an important lesson God showed me that day. 

My kids, as usual, had packed their gloves for the game, ever optimistic that they would get to catch a ball at the game.  I reluctantly took my glove as well at their request, knowing the odds were slim but wanting to humor the kids.  (That's another lesson God teaches us with kids' attitudes - we seem to lose our hope and optimism with age and experience!)

Halfway through the game, I was standing at the top of my section taking a break from our seats down below.  Wanting to catch a foul ball for my kids, I silently prayed to God for a chance at a foul ball.  It seemed silly to ask God for something like that, but literally on the next pitch, the batter sliced a fly ball high into the air right towards me!  Since it's rare that one even comes close, I was stunned and unprepared as I had left my glove in my seat.  I hesitated to go after the ball as it drifted about ten feet past me into the hands of another fan in his seat.

I was disappointed as I wondered if that was the best chance I would ever get at catching a foul ball.  Should I have been more aggressive? Should I have had my glove with me? Did I miss the chance God had given me through my prayer? 

I returned to my seat and grabbed my glove, knowing there was no way another foul ball would come close but not wanting to be unprepared again.  Amazingly, during the next inning a batter hit a hard ground ball right toward us.  It bounced up from the wall and flew right toward me. I instinctively reached up with my glove, and in the sea of hands reaching for the ball, I felt the ball snap into my glove. As we all looked around for the ball, I was shocked to look inside my glove and find the foul ball!  My kids were so excited, and I'll admit I was too.  It made our night, and the kids couldn't stop taking turns holding the ball, even when we returned home.

So what's the lesson God was teaching me in that experience? Sometimes we focus too much on the missed opportunities or bad choices we may have made, and we miss the real "foul ball" God had intended for us to catch.  If I hadn't optimistically gone back down to my seat and put on my glove, ready and prepared for another chance, I would have missed yet another foul ball, the ball God had originally intended for me to catch.  Rather than focusing on the past and the decisions you have made, remember that God already knows the choices you intend to make, and will give you all the chances you need to make the right decisions according to His purpose.  And those missed opportunities will allow you to learn and grow, so you won't miss the right decisions down the road.

Trust God for the adventure ahead, and know that God will always position you for the right "foul balls" in your life! 

"Who, then, are those who fear the Lord? He will instruct them in the ways they should choose."

- Psalm 25:12

-Adam Gellert
adamgellert.com

Is "I'll Be Praying For You" the Christian Version of "Let's Do Lunch"?

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." - James 5:16

We've all been there - you run into that old friend or acquaintance you haven't seen in years.  After catching up with the normal small talk of asking about each other's job, children, spouses, or other updates, you don't want to end the conversation with an awkward, but likely accurate "well, see you when we run into each other in five years".  So we leave the conversation with the hope that we will connect again soon, letting each other down easy by saying, "We should do lunch sometime."  You don't exchange phone numbers or email addresses, and walk away to the next stop on the day's agenda.  Who knows if you'll ever see or talk to that person again.  And do you really care?

Now, think about a similar conversation with someone you know is a fellow Christian - a church friend, co-worker, or other connection.  They tell you about the job they just lost, the illness of their child or spouse, the struggles they are having in their marriage.  And we leave the conversation with a sincere and heartfelt, "I'll be praying for you".  But what do you do with that promise to keep that person in your prayers? Do you move on with your own agenda, or do you sincerely make it a point to put that person on your prayer list and commit time in prayer?

I'll be the first to raise my hand and admit that this has been a fault of mine for much of my life.  I can think of so many times I've left a conversation with statements like, "I'll be praying for you" or "I'll be praying for your ministry." But in reality, I didn't make time for any prayer time with God, much less using that time to pray for others, so it was an empty promise; it was a "let's do lunch" moment. 

Even now that I've carved out quiet time daily to talk to God, I have to make it a point to spend time praying for others; I have to confess that many times that quiet time can turn into a selfish pursuit of one on one time with God, to hear what I want to hear, to get what I think I should get from that time with Him.

This is going to sound strange, but in my opinion, praying for others regularly isn't easy.  As I mentioned before, many of us get busy with our schedules and don't take the time to pray at all.  And many of us focus what little time we take to pray to focus on our own problems and situations. But think about it - prayer is one of the most powerful weapons we have in our arsenal.  The devil knows this, and is doing his best to keep us distracted with anything that will keep us from praying for others.  Because as James says in James 5:16, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective"!

For those of you who do truly commit to praying for others regularly, I applaud you and so admire your commitment to take on this essential role in God's army.  Intercessory prayer is such an amazing and powerful weapon.  But oftentimes, I would submit that many of use abuse the word "prayer" in our daily walk, as we tell others we will pray for them, pray for a certain decision or outcome, etc., when that's the easy way out, the "let's do lunch" commitment that makes us feel good as we walk away with no intention of following through.

I would challenge each of you, the next time you make that statement to someone, to take the next step and truly, earnestly, put that commitment to prayer.  As we know from James 5:16 and many other Bible verses regarding prayer (such as Mark 11:24, Acts 10:4, Ephesians 6:18), you are making a difference in that situation.  And you are honoring that person, your word, and God by following through. 

I'm going to do my best to make this commitment in prayer for others.  If you decide to join me, please share your stories of how this made a difference in your life and the lives of others. I am confident you have many exciting adventures to share!

- Adam Gellert
adamgellert.com