"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do."
- James 1:5-8
How can I be at this point? How can I experience the dreams, miracles, and revelations of God and still doubt that He is good? That He has a plan for all of humanity, and each of us individually, that if left in His hands will be made perfect for all eternity?
I doubt because I refuse to see reality through God's eyes. I allow my humanity, with all its imperfection and flawed perspective, to decide what is good or not good in my present situation. I see an all-knowing God and can't understand why He is allowing me to get laid off from work, lose my children, the natural disaster to wipe out my city, or not answer my earnest prayer for a miracle in a dire situation.
The foundation of faith is a combination of trust and obedience, which go hand in hand. I can't obey God's instruction and walk in His will if I don't trust Him during ALL circumstances, because I will make a different decision that makes more sense or feels more comfortable to my "rational" mind. This is why James, in the first chapter of his book in the Bible, says that doubt causes us to be double-minded, tossed about in the waves of life as we sometimes make good decisions that work out, while other times we fall back into worry and despair when something goes wrong.
That's what has made me come to realize that I don't entirely trust God. When I have a good day or something goes well, I'm in love with God and thank Him for answering my prayers and giving me favor. When something then goes wrong or not the way I expected, I blame God in His omnipotence for "punishing" me or not being good. And so we ride a roller coaster life of ups and downs, looking forward to the relief of an eternity where everything will be a smooth ride of perfection, instead of rejoicing in the peace, freedom and redemption Jesus won for us today.
Before you tell God you love Him, that you've accepted his Son Jesus as your Savior, and want His Holy Spirit to guide and comfort you on life's journey, are you really ready to trust Him? If you say you love your spouse but don't trust him or her, can you really love them? Can you really be fully committed to that relationship?
Francis Chan has a message that I'll share here, that challenges us with that same thinking. If we are worrying all the time about our lives, our children, our future,or our finances, do we really trust God? Do our children sit around worrying that we'll provide for them, that we'll do all we can to protect them, and that we are always looking out for their good, even when we have to correct them?
So what's the answer? How can we fully trust God? Like James says, we have to ask God. We have to commit to dying to self, the humanity in us that wants control. And when we ask God to take over our lives, we have to make the decision to trust Him completely, in good times and bad. God knows we will have doubts - Jesus was constantly confronted by His disciples' lack of faith despite all they experienced. But He also died for each one of us, so we could be free to live in eternity with Him, and so that we could have the Holy Spirit dwell within us to transform and shape us into trusting, obedient sons and daughters.
If you can't say you trust God today, repent and ask God to give you the wisdom to fully commit to Him. Believe and don't doubt, and watch God open the floodgates of heaven with a life of blessing, confidence, freedom, and purpose!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6
- Adam Gellert